Saturday, October 24, 2009

My First Hooker Halloween

Halloween is for children. And I guess for dogs too, but I don't think they enjoy their costumes as much as we do. I used to love Halloween, it's the only day of the year our neighbors let us kids into their houses and then give us candy (and we don't even have to go in the back room with Mr. Dixon). And what isn't great about a holiday where we can wear/be whatever we want and eat as much free candy as we want? But now that I've reached puberty (well, I haven't but, but most of my classmates have), it's hooker everything: hooker nurse, hooker pirate, hooker vampire, hooker veterinarian, hooker supreme court judge. Only for the girls, though. The boys still have normal costumes, but everything for girls has high heels, mini skirt, boobs, underwear, like all we girls want to be is hookers.

This year I'm going to be a hooker, too. But a real one. I'll have a black eye and torn clothes, and an angry expression on my face, and I'll have a gun too, to kill any pimp or john who messes with me. In fact, I'm going to be Aileen Wournos, who was supposedly a serial killer, but really it was a spree killing. She was a prostitute who killed rapist/johns - seven of them. She got punched or raped one too many times. Then they executed her. A horrible tragedy. Cause she was not finished with her work.