Phil and Ike up a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Music mogul PHIL SPECTOR has hit out at OPRAH WINFREY and WHOOPI GOLDBERG for "demonising" his friend IKE TURNER on their talkshows. Spector used the musician's funeral on Friday (21Dec07) to voice his anger at the U.S. TV stars - as well as others who have criticised him over the years. He went on to say that Ike - whose musical career was overshadowed by his image as the drug-addicted, brutally abusive former husband of Tina Turner - was "demonised and vilified" by his ex-wife.

Um, Mr. Spector, if you kill a woman at your house you don't get to criticise people for criticising your wifebeater friend. You idiot!!

Play-Date-Rape Drug

Aqua Dot beads turn into roofies when you eat them. How did they figure that out? Now not only do we have to avoid small parts, but if the strange man offers us toys instead of candy, we could be in big trouble, cause apparently children will eat anything, even if it doesn't have the delicious taste of lead. But I guess they had to put the roofies in the toys because it's hard to get kids to drink beer or grain alcohol.

There's a lot of kids in our school who's houses are for sale or got repo'd by the bank and a lot of kids have been told that they shouldn't expect much from Santa this year. But maybe that's good because the worse the country does then the less toys from China we can buy. Of course we can't afford food so well either, and that might lead to more bead snacks.

HELP!!! -- FEMA's coming!

And Bush is coming - like we don't have enough trouble. We can't afford to have any of our fire or police worrying about his sorry ass. And now in addition to the hellfire and raining ash, they're sending FEMA, which as far as I know still hasn't taken care of Katrina, which was more than two years ago, but then again this is Orange County, and we have mostly white people and a lot of Republicans. School is out, so the childrens are not learnings for the tests, so I'm sure we'll have to have a lecture about that. But since our developing lungs are breathing toxic air, and our health insurance got vetoed, we are urging all children who can get out of the shelters to meet him with a bandana around your face and rage in your heart.

There is one piece of good news. The Governor called for the National Guard and the only ones they could find were guarding the Mexican border, so now we'll be able to get someone to harvest whatever food survives the fires.

Giving Turkeys A Bad Name

We got sent home early today because there was a fight between a Turkish boy and an Armenian boy. The Armenian boy said it was a genocide, and the Turkish boy said it wasn't and how dare he say that.  Of course, the slaughter of the Armenians by the Turks happened over 90 years ago, so I don't think any of the killers are still alive. I can't understand what the problem is. Maybe Congress should pass a substitute resolution that says "we condemn the mass murder of the Armenians that LOOKS like a genocide, but isn't one," and that way we can keep flying our troops out of their airbases so we can go kill a different group of people. Then the children can stop fighting and we can get back to learning important things, like history.

A Haunting Spectre-or

I'm glad that he hasn't gone totally free and that at least 10 of the 12 jurors were not engineers, but I'm worried about the next round. Even though there aren't that many lawyers left who haven't defended him yet, and probably no intelligent hearing seeing person who knows nothing of the case, I'm sure they will buy the same "expert" witnesses, who just happen to always testify for the defense.

But mostly I'm surprised that they haven't charged Lana Clarkson with damaging Spector's reputation and messing up his floors.

Men Behaving Badly

I know I try to keep the blog humorous, but this is an emergency!!! There's a femicide going on right now in Congo. Of course, there's a femicide going on everywhere, but it's more pronounced and obvious right now in the Congo, so please get on it. They are raping women and girls and babies - sometimes to death, and we have to help UNICEF and VDAY stop it. Please go to the VDay site and do what you can. Thanks friends.

Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?

Well I am a fifth grader, so I guess that means I can't play because I can only be exactly as smart as a 5th grader. But I seriously think they should change it to "Are you smarter than the President?" First of all more people could win, and that means they'll have more money to buy things and that will help the economy and defeat the "terrrists." But also, maybe people would realize that most of them are smarter than the president and then maybe they would realize that he SHOULDN'T BE RUNNING THINGS!

Clarence Uncle Thomas

"Injustice" Clarence Thomas' new book came out yesterday called "My Grandfather's Son," and it's not a tribute to his father, it's a tribute to himself! Does he mean that his grandfather "begat" him with his own daughter? If so, that would explain some things. But I don't understand why the book wasn't called "If I Did It." I guess that was taken.

Kanye Didn't Go Far Enough

"President" Bush doesn't care about children either (even the white ones). He plans to veto the bill that would give health care to more children. But ALL senior citizens have govt. covered health care. How does Bush think they're gonna pay for the senior citizens (aka voters) if the children are too sick to work? But I guess then just the fittest will survive and then we'll get healthy slaves from other countries (aka illegal immigrants or sometimes actual real slaves) to make up the difference.

Why is he still in charge? And why are we supposed to respect our elders again?

Kid Nation

"40 Kids, no Adults" -- yeah except for the ones with the cameras. And I'm pretty sure it wasn't a kid who wrote the contract the kids parents signed that gave away their rights to sue the network and the show's producers if their child died, was severely injured, or contracted a sexually transmitted disease during the program's taping. They also gave CBS the right to "search the minor's person and the Minor's belongings (including, without limitation, by x-ray or similar device)." Additionally, the agreement notes, "Kid Nation" participants "will have no privacy," except when they are in the bathroom. Provided, of course, that the child is actually "in the process of showering, bathing, urinating, or defecating." (how would they know that?)

Yes. I'm sure this is how children would set things up if they were really running things.

As for the show, I would put Emilie in charge, and I'm worried about Greg, who already had a lot of experience butchering (why?!?!) and then killed the chickens "for the other kids" who wanted "fresh meat" and then they didn't give him the gold star. By the way, both of them are from Nevada, so it's not a geographical thing.

I feel gross watching it and promise not to buy any of the products that advertise, but I don't think that'll be too hard. I don't know who the target audience is, but they had an ad for Vagisil. I know it's dry in the desert, but...

the Scared and the Profane

A man wrote a comment today about my "Support our Sister" blog entry saying that if I'm in 5th grade then I "need to learn to write/speak without using profanity." Who the fuck is he to tell me that? Oh, it's okay to swear if you're an adult but not if you're ten? Is that another one of those privileges you only get if you're big? He also said in his comment "before you ask, yes I have taken a human life." Uh, I wasn't going to ask because it never occurred to me. Still, I'm glad that whoever JR is he (or she maybe?) wrote to me and is reading my blog.

I was glad to hear today that Warren Jeffs was found of guilty of forcing a 14 year old girl to marry an adult and get raped by him. It's lucky that it wasn't an LA jury.

Supercunt

Frances and I went to see the Brave One this weekend. The lead character, Erica Baines, gets an Aileen Wuornos Environmental Clean-Up Award, though unlike Aileen Wuornos, she doesn't get killed in th end, and I think maybe she retires. Still she does some good work. In my favorite scene a bad man calls her a Supercunt and then when she tells him do something and he says, "what if I don't" and she says "Then I'll be the last Supercunt you'll ever see." Then after that every time she did some "clean-up" I shouted "GO SUPERCUNT," which thrilled me and Frances and freaked out all the nice Orange County people at the theatre. (We live in Orange County - so that was pretty much everyone in there.) Now I want to get T-shirts made that say "Supercunt", though I'm pretty sure that we'd get sent home from school. But next time someone calls me a cunt I'll say, "No, that's SUPERcunt, thank you very much."

Rush To Judgement

Just because OJ Simpson beat his ex-wife and "if he did it" slaughtered her and her friend, doesn't mean he is also guilty of armed robbery. I mean just cause someone would maim and kill doesn't make him a thief. And there are lots of thieves who would never hurt anyone, and I'm sure they don't consider him one of them. So we shouldn't assume that he did it.

I just hope he wasn't wearing gloves.

Okay Girls, Get Ready

The trial of Phil Spector is over, and the jury is debilitating. OJ and Robert Blake went free, and if Phil Spector goes free then it's time to take to the streets. Prepare. Only a full scale rebellion will make it clear we will no longer tolerate the murder of our sisters. It will be hard for us to burn down our own neighborhoods, because we don't really have any - we've been dispersed and separated, but there are more of us than there are of them and if we stop accepting the way things are, then they're not the way things are anymore, you know what I mean? I can't say here what specifically I have in mind, but I know you have earned your creativity badges and are ready.

This is probably just an exercise in emergency preparedness, because Phil Spector is way too ugly to get away with it, but you never know. Grosser people have gotten away with murder and other things...

Quit eating the dolls you idiots

Today Mattel announced a third toy recall, mostly involving Barbie toys. I know babies like to put everything in their mouths, but what babies are playing with Barbies? Of course it's probably their older brothers and sisters who are trying to kill them with the lead pieces, but trust me, if they want to kill them or make them eat gross things, they don't need lead painted toys to do it.

AMERICAN GIRL DOLL ACTION

My troop came across a cache of "American Girl" Molly dolls. I can't tell you the details, but suffice it to say, we have a few hundred of these pricey dolls that just came our way. To earn our charity badge, we have set up a program to donate the dolls to our unfortunate sisters whose parents have been having a boycott of all "American Girl" dolls for the last two years, because the company made a donation to Girls Inc., which does a lot of good things for girls, including helping with self esteem and education, and because it believes in girls' rights, it also supports our rights to our bodies, and the (supposedly) Christian wrong thinks they should not have that control.

Mind you I would never buy one of the dolls, because they cost like $90 and I hate dolls anyway, I would always choose a stuffed animal (or better yet, a real one - but I would never buy it, I would always only rescue one), but there are girls who like them, and why should their rights to their dolls be denied or abridged because of their parents idiocy and prejudice, and determination to take away their own daughters rights?

SO, if you are one of these girls, please write to us through the blog, and we will arrange to get you one of these naughty dolls (in a plain brown wrapper - send to a safe location) and you and the other girls in your church can have secret meetings to play with your dolls and whatever else deprived people might do in secret (hint, hint)...

Some Bumper Stickers I Saw and Liked

Is It Safe?

Mattell has recalled a lot of toys, and of course they are blaming the Chinese for using the yummy lead paint and tiny magnets. I thought these toys were dangerous enough all on their own. Look at them. What is wrong with these pictures? Batman is an S/M steroid freak. And Barbie's an anorexic, plastic surgery addict. At least Barbie got a service dog to help her walk because her feet are permanently high-heeled, and she cant' stand up on her own. (By the way, the dog eats and poops - the food and the poop are the same pellet, which is pretty accurate, because our dog eats cat poop - right out of the litter box - we call it 'almond rocca.')

Who's Ashamed of Hello Kitty?

Thai cops punished by Hello Kitty

The armband is designed to shame the person wearing it

Police chiefs in the Thai capital, Bangkok, have come up with a new way of punishing officers who break the rules - an eye-catching Hello Kitty armband.

In the interest of full disclosure I have to say that I'm a big fan of Hello Kitty: I have a Chococat wallet and some tiny hello kitty temporary tattoos. I find nothing shameful about it. I would proudly wear a Hello Kitty armband, although I think the hearts look pretty stupid. But why don't they just make them wear an armband that says "girl" on it, or pink underpants on their heads? Why is everything girl so shameful to men? I hope Hello Kitty retaliates and starts wearing a blue armband with a little Thai cop on it.
---Ethel

Support our Sister

Elizabeth Township girl charged in dad's killing

Police are silent, but neighbors say teen was victim of sexual, physical abuse for several years

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

By Torsten Ove and Jim McKinnon, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

A 13-year-old girl fatally shot her father in the face with a shotgun early yesterday morning as he slept in their Elizabeth Township home, according to police.

Rachel Booth was held without bond last night in the Allegheny County Jail, charged as an adult with homicide in the death of Matthew J. Booth, 34. She faces a preliminary hearing Friday.

In an affidavit supporting the arrest, Allegheny County police did not reveal a motive.

Detectives said only that the girl acknowledged that she killed Mr. Booth with his 12-gauge shotgun at 2:21 a.m. on the first floor of 5802 Pitt St., where Mr. Booth lived with the girl and her 14-year-old brother, Matthew Booth Jr.

But a close neighbor said the girl told her that Mr. Booth had sexually and physically abused her since she was 7. [there's more, but you should just look it up]

Well let me be the first to say that this type of self-defense is a trend I'd like to see pick up. Of course they want to charge her as an adult for homocide because we can't have the children defending themselves like that (never mind that it was HIS gun). But if this scares at least one abuser, then that's awesome, and of course that guy will not be hurting anyone anymore. I'm sure a lot of people will be shocked, but I wonder why it doesn't happen more often. Hey, at least she killed her abuser and nota bunch of schoolmates. For that she gets the Aileen Wuornos award for environmental clean up.

If there's anything I can do. I stand ready with the Girl Scouts to help a sister in need.

Sincerely,

Ethel

Vick needs a vapor rub

Mr. Vick,
What is wrong with you? how can you do that to animals? I guess you like an adrenaline rush from angry animals trying to kill each other, but isn't that what the NFL is for? You are that animal, you idiot. If you're ever allowed to play again, you should play for no money, with no padding, and have to live in a little cage and eat Alpo. I think the point of "Gladiator" is that it is wrong to do that to people. Dogs are just like people, only mostly nicer. We're supposed to take care of them, not torture them and execute them. I think we should throw you to the dogs.

Can't Get 'em Young Enough

Police smash global pedophile ring

LONDON - British police, with aid from U.S. investigators, have shattered a global Internet pedophile ring, rescuing 31 children and rounding up more than 700 suspects worldwide, authorities said Monday.

Some 200 suspects are based in Britain, said the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Center, a government agency. Of the 31 children, some only a few months old, more than 15 were in Britain, the center said.

I couldn't help noticing that some of the rescued children were only a few months old. What is wrong with these people? Why can't they wait until they're six years old, like normal people!

Today's Heroine

This is a Canadian girl addressing the United Nations Environmental Summit in Brazil (the one that Bush didn't bother to attend or send anyone on The USA's behalf). I hope she grows up to be President of her country: click here. Her group is called Environmental Children's Organization (ECO)

I'd like to do some honor killing

A 17 year old girl was beaten and stoned to death by her family and other people in Iraq - to protect the honor of her family? I'm so glad we "liberated" the Iraqis so that they can create honor by murdering girls and women. It's 2007. What is wrong with these people? (If America really wants to help they should offer to adopt all the women (and children) in the Middle East who want to come here.) They say they had to kill her because her falling in love with a man who wasn't the 100-year-old uncle she was probably promised to brought shame on them. Oh, I see, but you don't feel shame for KILLING HER?

I'm drawing up my "honor roll" right now, and you better believe I'm going to be getting rid of a lot of shame.

Selling babies on ebay

People give us baby dolls when we're little girls, but me and my friends prefer stuffed animals. Baby dolls are for older kids to learn in parenting class how hard it is to take care of a baby and maybe not have them when they're in high school. I found this on ebay:



Yes! They are selling baby fuck dolls now. And don't say I'm sick because it's just a baby doll for a lonely person or a really rich kid (it's over $500!), because any thing that says "This is a private listing. Your identity will not be disclosed to anyone but the seller," is not some innocent toy. How is this even legal? Why do you want to buy a fake baby that's "anatomically correct?"

I hope it's a trap and the seller is some kind of sting operation, and the buyers end up in prison being treated like that baby doll.

			Reborn*NEW* CELINE E.Wosnjuk ANATOMICALLY CORRECT Boy BABYFACE BUNDLES~LIFELIKE~True-2-Size Newborn Baby ELI	Item number: 330118735703

	Bidder or seller of this item? Sign in for your status Watch this item in My eBay This is a private listing. Your identity will not be disclosed to anyone except the seller. If you are already bidding on this item, view your bidder status. Learn more about private listings.

Current bid: US $330.00 Reserve not met price: US $549.00 immediate payment required

The New Daddy Dearest Doll

this is from Gallery of the Absurd: