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When a dying kid's wish is to kill

A nonprofit helps terminally ill children with the unusual -- and to some, alarming -- dream of hunting an animal

BY ROBERT ITO

iStockphoto/MoniqueRodriguez

Tina Pattison is in the wish-granting business. As president and founder of the nonprofit organization Hunt of a Lifetime, Pattison helps kids with life-threatening illnesses fulfill their dreams of shooting their first elk, or moose or boar. If your son is dying and wants to visit Disneyworld, well, she can't do anything for you. But if your son wants to go out in the wilds of Maine with a high-powered rifle and bring down a really big bear, Pattison's the woman you want to see. 

If you're dying wish is to murder an animal, then your death is not tragic; it's too late!! I'm sorry you have cancer, but leave the animals alone. What if I had cancer, and my dying wish was to shoot a kid who's dying wish is to shoot an animal? Where's my foundation? According to this article, the Make-A-Wish Foundation will no longer arrange for these hunting trips, because an animal rights activist got to them, which implies that they used to do it! WTF? I'm gonna start a foundation to help ill children with the unusual, and to some, alarming dreams that I personally approve of. My Manifesto will be coming out soon, and frankly, I can use a small army of kamikazi children to take out anyone (adults mostly) who get in my way.

Giving Turkeys A Bad Name

We got sent home early today because there was a fight between a Turkish boy and an Armenian boy. The Armenian boy said it was a genocide, and the Turkish boy said it wasn't and how dare he say that.  Of course, the slaughter of the Armenians by the Turks happened over 90 years ago, so I don't think any of the killers are still alive. I can't understand what the problem is. Maybe Congress should pass a substitute resolution that says "we condemn the mass murder of the Armenians that LOOKS like a genocide, but isn't one," and that way we can keep flying our troops out of their airbases so we can go kill a different group of people. Then the children can stop fighting and we can get back to learning important things, like history.