Saturday, May 13, 2006

Who you calling a mother?

In addition to what i said yesterday, i have to challenge the whole idea of mothers anyway. because this holiday is a glorification of genetic narcissism. there are too many people on the planet, and most people should not be allowed to have children anyway, and mother's day is propaganda -- oh, it's so wonderful to be a mother. no it's not. just ask Andrea Yates or Susan Smith, or Joan Crawford. Better yet, ask their children. Motherhood (and fatherhood) is just a way where ANYONE can be the boss over someone else. i'm not saying we don't need mothers, but most of them are no Theresa's (just a metaphor, don't get me started on her). I should be celebrated tomorrow, because i am the mother of two cats, who i'm sure would like nothng more than to bring me a dead mouse in my bed. but that will not happen because it's baby animal season so they are not allowed out. even though Jamal whines at the door to go out, i won't let him because it's "save a rat day." and since he cannot be trusted to protect others from himself, i have to do it (like how we should deal with child molesters. don't let them out. call it "save a child day.")

also, i think there should be licenses for being a parent. almost everything else that could be harmful is regulated (unless you're a big business and friends with the president), but like you have to have a license to drive a car or fish (or hunt --MR CHENEY!!! -- though that wasn't hunting, it was more like mass murder.) but you don't have to have any license to have a child. you don't even have to pass a test that asks a) is it okay to leave the kids alone with an armed clown? b) is it okay to starve, beat, molest, torture your children? c) Is it okay to dress them in humiliating clothes that will ruin their social lives?

my point is, you are not allowed to take a new baby out of the hospital until you prove that you have an approved carseat that is properly installed in the car. but once you pass the carseat test and drive them away, you're free to drive them into a lake.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know I am suppose to be a huge advocate of women's reproductive rights and everything but I think there are a few people who's tubes we should tie right up.
1) Britney Spears
2) Me
3) Anyone on the show the Real World
4) Paris Hilton
5) Tara Reid
6) Courtney Love
I would list more but I am late for work as usual....GO UNION!