Monday, July 03, 2006

England hates this holiday

Yet another holiday that involves burning animal parts in the backyard. I am all for independence day, and I like to blow things up as much as the next ten year old (which is a LOT), but I don't want to go to the town park with my family and watch a lame firework display that upsets all the dogs and babies. (The best part is the accidental (every year?) brush fire afterward.)

I would rather get together with other children to declare our independence and target our oppressors. I'd like to put some fireworks in Mr. Chudgewhistle's stretch pants. He's the fifth grade science teacher who's always trying to get the girls to fish the candy corns out of his pockets. Then I might want to go after the senior citizens who are stealing all of our money. They get free health care even if they're rich, but not all kids do, and they get much more money than schools because they vote and whine and all the politicians are afraid not to give them whatever they want. Us children on the other hand, are FORBIDDEN to vote. We have no say in our government. Wasn't that the reason American rebelled and became an emancipated minor????

Fireworks are dangerous, and sometimes things that aren't supposed to accidentally catch fire. And I just hope that when the kabooms go off I'm not anywhere near any of the Iraq war vets, cause they might mistake me for a ten year old Iraqi girl.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ethel dear,

Please enable Backlinks so I can create posts on my blog linking back to your satirically brilliant posts.

PS About our disabled fur-children. I learned a great deal from my disabled fur-child. She helps me be a better human. She's a good teacher.

About the cancer thing. Most people have their heartbreaking, life-changing experiences (mine were abuse and cancer), it's just a matter of labels, degrees, and extremes.

Chaiway Hugs!