MYSPACE

When I’m selling Thin Mints I like to tell my customers that they’re fun to eat while watching “To Catch a Predator.” How retarded are some of those men? There was one man who had seen the series and still signed up for a date with Dateline. Duh. My friend Frances and I have our own little sting going, so those of you who are prowling around Myspace better watch out, because we’re not working with law enforcement. We ARE law enforcement. Ethel’s Law. If you make a date with one of us (and obviously I’m not using my own name and profile, duh), you will actually get to meet a couple of ten year olds, but that’s where your fantasy will end. And ours begins. We have already captured 4 men, and they will never report what happened them. One of them pleaded with us “please, I have two small children.” Can you believe that crap? We said, “well then this is for them!” What can I say? Frances has those strong soccer legs, and I have a zero tolerance policy. My space is MY space, and you're not allowed to touch it. But if you try, I promise you a date you'll never forget.